I have finally sort out my thoughts!!! =D After reading the history tht one of the bro sent, i really manage to sort out the thoughts. Thanks to him! Hmmm... Stayed up late last night till 3am just to read up on tht. HAHA!! Gosh hahaha while reading it, i find it pretty funny too. Anyway at least i is not a waste of effort and time.... i managed to learn something and came out with a conclusion! =D

After reading it, thoughts began to run through in my mind. Hmm... is the emotion of an individual. Given our EQ, to me, i felt that emotion is something that could be controlled. However, that is not the point. My point is, never ever let emotion affects what u gonna persue in life.

In fact, in our daily life. There are always alot of things that we wanted to persue. Even such a simple things like completing my xbox RPG game or even solve a mathematic problem. It can be as simple as this. Life without colours are meaningless. Just think back about it, why not focus back on what u want and persue what u really want in life? Is time that ppl should add some colours to their life rather than making themselves so miserable all the time.. Hmm bro, i really hope u can understand that. Hmm holism thinking!! YEAH =D

For now, i shall persue my diploma! Enjoy the school terms to the fullest!! Pass my driving LICENSE & trained up key man in my organisation!!Get it over and done with! ONCE N FOR ALL.. :)

If only someone could have told me something like tht ( what is written in convo hist) I could have realised all these long ago.

I believed by doing so, a person will only growth in terms of their intrinsic and extrinsic values. Then why not just made it a fruitful one? YUP! With that I shall wish everyone, all the best with wadeva tht they wanted to persue in life! :)

Was tht meant to be a correct approach? I dunno.... Perhaps I'm in a loss of what to do. Im feeling really tired but somehow, i cant get to slp at all.... Im just worried... plain worry! I wonder how is she feeling right now.. If i knew that would have happened, I would chose not to let her know about it. I'm really dumb... Before telling her, i was really wondering whether i shld say or not. Cos the truth is always cruel.... :(
In the end i told her about it... cos i didnt wan to hide anything from her... Sooner or later she might know...
.......
.......
I was hoping that she is alright.... And really hope that she is.....

Somehow felt rather amiss... I dun really know how to describe the feelings i had

just somehow like a glass that was broken right into pieces and pieces...

could feel thousands of knives stabbing right deep into the heart....

I could feel the pain that she is experiencing and having.. I wish i could do something for her but there is really nth i could do at tht point of time but the only thing was to give her some time to be alone by herself.....

She told me that she nid some time.... mayb that is wad she really nids...

However, by telling her i guessed it might be the right option.. cos sooner or later she will still find out and mayb wont be from me but some others, that would hurt her even deeper.

hope she is able to pull thru all these...

and i strongly believed that she could do it....

Business had not been doing well recently. I will have to admit... Im really tired... feeling exhausted.... lethargic....Sometimes i may even wonder how long could i still take it.. If i were to cont on like this. Hmm manager session ends pretty late today. Standard! no transportation back and I would have to travel all the way back to jurong. Ms Liu dropped me nearby her place. Haha so from there i would have to cab back.. Hmm also another sums of $$$. So i took with mr vincent instead. He is such a humourous person. Somehow i felt that he was a funny guy but he was rather nice, gave me some encouragement for tmr appointment too. HAHA if nvr closed, he will come and straggle me. HAAHs

Think back about it... Maybe im a bit sick of it..Nonetheless, i would still try very hard.. For the last 2 months. I have been struggling.... trying my best to build and maintain my organisation. I felt that it was rather a sense of achivement for me as I had tried to mastered the art of motivation and applied it on my organisation. It was rather effective, but ultimately they would still have to see result. Can't deny the fact also... Seriously.. I wish to complain!! I just promoted to manager not long ago, yet I have to learn and do so much things at one go. I felt bit negative, but still i will have to learn. Can;t do anything also. :( For a moment i felt so blessed with my organisation and ppl that motivates me. However, I find it no point, im the key person that tend to hold grping and motivate a bunch of guys that fill with a glimpse of hope and believe that they could succeed but when they go for SA, nth comes in.... :(

WHY?

Alighted at Jurong East and DAD sent me back home from there. Along the way we were talking and it link back to my studies and my work. I told him abt the appointments i went to.. somehow tryin to complain abit here and there. hahas I would somehow felt betta while doin that rather than resorting to violence to vent my anger or swearing and cursing.. Just not my style. =) Dad was very understanding, he know the stress that im facing and the responsiblity that im trying to uphold. Im really glad :) At least it somehow kept me motivated!! :D HAHA Finally got sales receipt book and I believe it will b a good start to close sales :) Wish me all the best! I shall do it to the fullest! Thanks so much for the support!

Just reached home at about 11 plus this morning! Went over to Jy's place to sleep! His room was pretty niced! With a computer desk, a chair and a queen-sized bed! Indeed from there, I did learnt something! Really talked most of the rubbish stuff and as well as stuff about VE that involved one of the golden rules, BGR.. I did understand that such things are unavoidable and if this is really so called true love, then time will have to prove everything! If is really that strong in this sense! Other than that, I'm really kinda surprise that jy knew about wad is happening to one of my downline and mr J... I was wondering how did he really knew about that. Gosh!! Anyway this is already over! No 1 is talking about it anymore! Smsed while chit chatting wif jy. He was really into his DOTA!

Gosh! while smsing, I really felt like slping as the bed was indeed very comfortable. Fall asleep while phone is vibrating, at times i took a glance at my phone and see if theres any msg replied.. However it was really pretty slow! Tired~~~!!! Then after that she didnt replied anymore...


Hmm.. Out of a sudden, I really feel like driving!!! Okie~ Made up my mind! I shall go register today! With my wisdom and intelligience, I shall get it over done with, with the first attempt! 2 more hours! I gonna do PP soon!!! :D

"D" Stands for Delicious!! HAHA although it seems delicious but somehow I just can't bear to eat it up! Took a photo of it instead! The others letter "A" & "N" were badly curshed into pieces, can't seems to fix them back into one piece :(

Just reached home not long ago! Definitely that was a pretty long ride back all the way from Tampines to Lakeside. Haha Although it was rather a long ride, it somehow set me thinking what exactly i'm doing as well... I really dunno wad is wrong with me today.. In fact, I really just wanna made a trip to IKEA to get stuffs purely for my sales kit and compensate whatever i had owed. After that, I would just take my leave!! :( I dunno wad exactly is my mind thinking today... somehow just like a lost sheep in a big city.

So what exactly is the reason i wanted to tag along? If i really were to ask myself this question, I would really say i dunno and i really dunno about this! I really have no answer to that question! On the bus, she nearly tripped, i believe i was really aware of it. I did stand there firmly and try not to move cos just like wad some1 had ever told me b4, not to cross over the line.. cos even if she were to fall, at most she will knock onto me but definitely cos i was standing at that direction, tht would really ensure that she would not fall cos i was standing rite at the back as well.. So was that considered one of a good idea? In fact i don think so :( Nonetheless i could have become more proactive. After alighting, didn't went to IKEA cos it might have closed! Just somehow i dun feel is a wasted trip. UHHH NO!!! tat shouldnt be the case!! I should had felt that is a wasted trip and i didnt know y would i exit the MRT station and try to cab over to IKEA and ended up spending 2.80 on the fare to made me walk from a long distances back to the MRT station.. Gosh cos uncle had told me that is already closed at 10.30, when i board the cab, is already 10.33!! :( GOSH WAD AM I DOING???!?!?!

Aftr tat managed to take a train all the way back to lakeside! I still had yet completed my team evaluation for today! Hah however i managed to finished it just on time before 12 am when i reached home.. Nth special took place and i just blog! tats all! Just pray tat she would nvr get stress up over things.. Best wishes!

Finally reached home, hahha and is kinda late right now. No doubt im feeling rather lethargic and sleepy but in my mind, there are still something that seems to wander about and also a feeling of emptiness. After supper, it ended pretty late. As a result, I missed my last train, so i took a bus back home instead.

It was indeed a long ride, the whole ride took about 1 hour plus. Pretty sleepy!!! It was 1246 when i board the bus. Perhaps that was the last bus, I was considered pretty lucky, if not would ended up taking bus 51 instead, that would reached Jurong East and from there i will have to run all the way back!! HAHA definitely not tat easy! Hmm... Bus 30 was rather quiet, so i was seated at the very extreme left corner. While the bus was moving, I took a closer look at the scenary, it was the very first time that I had this kind of long lost feeling. At that moment, I realised that in the past, there are alot of things that i had took it for granted. Haha perhaps the strongest impression that i had in mind was the ferrywheel!! Tat was the happiest time we ever had tgt!! Tat was also the place, on the very night we bid farewell to one another! So that was the very last impression I had in her.

The chain or series of event which took placed, that flashed in my mind. All the sweet memories that we once had together, perhaps it is just like a fairytale which came to a conclusion and ended with an ending behind it. I was wondering how is she now.. I understood that it is time that i should really let go of it as all these had already happened a century ago. Just wondering how is she doing right now... Is been rather a long time since we had lost contact with one another, I believed that she is enjoying her life for now and I would really wish her all the best!!

Sweet memories are rather something that is unfogettable and perhaps is something that will buried deeply inside the mind. I closed my eyes and smile in a peacefully mannered. Tears almost dropped but at least still strong enough to control over my emotion. Eventually, I fell asleep on bus..... it is moving.... and moving...till I reached my stop.. Haha gosh! nearly missed the stop, if not i would ended up walking a long way back. Haha pretty lucky i guessed :) Let's not think about it anymore and get a good rest instead!! Elite's nite tmr!! I shall go rest for now!! NITE!! :D